Do you know what is it like to lose someone? I don't want to lose another. It is scary to lose someone. Suddenly. It's like a phobia. I know everyone leaves one day. But I need a reason when they leave. 

Labels: Telesaurtise (:

Labels: Amirah (:

2012 is already coming to an end. To be honest, a lot has happened. I think I'm strong enough to go through all that and move on. Fought with almost everyone in my clique. But not at the same time. Misunderstandings; one after another. If you're not tired, I am. Really 😔

Of course, they are good things too. Like my birthday fell on Hari raya, 19 August 2012. It's like a double happiness. & I got what I wanted for Christmas. Polaroid piano 😁😁😁 thanks sissy. Annnnddd I managed to do a lot of shopping. Hehehe happy girl. I've lost a friend but I gain another. And the cycle continues. & I got to such up with some of my secondary school friends at syah's sister's wedding. Oh, how glad I am.

One thing that never change, my carelessness. Have been overlooking all of them and causing me disappointment. Finally, this year, I broke down because of my results. Yes, first time. I've need cried before. Because of my RESULTS. & they are all only test. But you know the hard work thy you've put in and all? It's like it has gone down the drain. I don't deserve to fail any of my tests. I overlooked my careless mistakes and when I got my result and check through, it really changes my mood. I don't know who else ever felt that way. Like you studied, but you still fail. You feel so useless and stupid. So , all you could do was to call someone. And cry. And for me, I'll drown my sorrows with froyo. Yes, call me weird. & I'm glad I've a froyo buddy and someone to confide to 😊 really glad. And encouragements from everyone, family and friends. No one ever saw me cry over my results. NEVER. Prolly, I've finally realize that importance of hard work. And FINALLY taking it seriously.

School. In a blink of an eye, it is coming to an end. Three more months an I'm graduating. There'll be some I'd miss and some I do not even want to remember. Most importantly, I'm taking all my memories with me. Good or bad. It's kind of sad because there'll be no more train rides with my favourites. I hope to still be in contact with them.

Fights. I've like more than three this year. Two of which I actually went physical and pull their shirt. Most definitely, I broke down on all the fights. Misunderstandings and assumptions. What did I tell you about those? They are mother of all evil, I'm glad cutiepiepeach stops assuming and ask. Now, I'm worried about another closest friend of mine. It's a misunderstanding to start with. I've explained and now he thought I'm blaming him. I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of my friendship with him. He has been there through thick and thin besides Karlid. It's really sad. I'm so disappointed(?) that I've become numb. You know, now, losing friend is like a daily routine for me. I don't know how to feel anymore.

Anyway, three more months. We'll see what will happen in between alright? There's nothing much I could do. Only pray and hope for the best.

Two weeks ago, selva's dad passed away. He went through a lot. & I'm glad the family let him go peacefully. I've yet visited him. What a friend.

I was so upset I shut myself down from everyone. I did not go to any meet-ups with my friends. Even, my friend's birthday. & at the same time, I'm down with fever. And my throat keeps having ulcer. Suspect it's tonsils, but I don't want to know.

Anyway, I just hope 2013 will be a better one for me. I don't know where I'll go after ite. I'll take whatever path that has been given to me. I leave it to fate. I'm mentally prepared. But, of course, I want to continue my studies in poly.

& I think it's time for my heart to move on from weirdos and heartbreaks. It's time to find another. My other half. Chey. Hahaha. This is it.

In 2013, it'll be my dad sixth year ): so many things happened at home. I cannot even breathe. I don't know who to go to and I don't know who's willing to lend me a listening ear and shoulder to cry on.

Anyway, I had a great time on Christmas Eve with my colleagues. Best Christmas dinner ever. Memories. Hehe. & I went to a bar for the first time. An outdoor one though. Hehehe


Alright, till my next update. Have been busy. Waiting for cutiepiepeach to return from oz and meet up for froyo.

As a #Leo your INSTANT STRESS-BUSTER is looking over old photos and remembering the good times you've had.

See, #Leo say "I'm tired " when they are actually sad.

Labels: Telesaurtise :*

It sucks to be somewhere you know you don't belong. It sucks even more if you can't get to adapt to places at the shortest time. Especially when it's a long stay. In short, it sucks to be me. At least, for now.


I don't know why, but, it seems like after voicing out about the picnic outing, the people there seem to hate me even more. Already being hated for not being able to speak mandarin, and now, objecting to an 'idea'. is it wrong to voice out and tell you what's on my mind and understand my difficulties? Picnic in China? Easy for you, but, not for me. Where do I find food? This ain't Singapore. It's not easy to find Halal food there. At least. no pork no lard, NOOOOO. It's easy if we go to city area. You know? Nooooo. You only listen to what you say.


I have lots of difficulties here, but, I just kept quiet. I can tell you, I almost exploded. If not for my grades and for overall comments, I would have screamed at you. Already, giving me headaches when I realize we have language barrier, and now you want to control our weekends outing? I mean, it's fine. Once in awhile. Not every weekend. We are the 'aliens' in your country, let us have our own time to explore. It's different if we are here on an exchange programme like the Scotland students. Yes, you can do that. Why? Because we'll be there for only awhile. You get me?


You know, how angry I was past few weeks? But, I've no one to go to because basically no one understands me. My English. It's either really really bad or not up to your 66 marks standard. WHAT? I spoke to fast? No such thing. You didn't realize you speak just as fast in your own language, do you? YOU TELL ME IN MY FACE! NOT SAY IT AMONGST YOURSELF AND LET MY FRIEND HEAR IT! You get me? It sucks because I thought you guys understood what I said, all along. Turned out, I've been wasting my time. Really. Very pissed off. 


IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? I SPEAK IN ENGLISH, AN INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE. NO? ALRIGHT...


If you know it's hard for you, then you should know it's equally just as hard for me too. I'm already trying very hard. You guys are not even trying at all. There's this point of time where I feel like writing all these to you guys in the lab. So, you guys will do something about it and do better for future non-chinese students who'll be coming over in future. 


Already your hygiene, traffic, etc is pissing me off. Actually, EVERY SINGLE THING HERE PISSES ME OFF!


I'm gonna hate on your people even more when I"m back in Singapore. Now, that I've seen it in your own country, I'll be extra evil. You guys are a show off in foreign countries, but, timid as mouse in your own country. ONLY in your country, you'll be served first if you're filthy rich. Not in Singapore. There's a system here. 


I'm hoping no one will put my blog up on stomp for talking about the mainland people. Got to go. Good night!

Labels: amirah telesaurtise (:

Hello, I'm coming back to Singapore in few days. Everything here is fine. Can't wait to be back though. Finally, got to eat rice here after like five or six weeks here. Fair enough, other than language barrier and difficulties in finding food in the first few weeks. Had lots of thoughts when I was here. Every night here is a reflection day for me. There's always something that I'm thinking about every night. No matter how much I try to avoid all that so I could sleep better, I can't. 


Anyhoo, weather here is bad. First few weeks I was here, it's so cold and yeah, cold. Now that I'm going back to Singapore, it's really really hot. Before it was hot, it rained. The rain here is not like in Singapore. The rain here last for few days. Longest, three days. Drenched! ALL THE TIME! 
When it's hot, it can go up to 40 degrees Celsius. That's how hot it is. Skype everyday with my family. 


The days here made me reminisce about my childhood times. Some were funny, some were sad, but, overall I'm thankful. 


Miss my family and friends so so much! Can't wait to be back and see all of them. Miss my home-cook food. Miss everything. Can't wait to be back for attachment in Singapore. I hope they give me a near, but, good place. Can't wait to be back in Parlour too. I miss my job too.


ANYWAY, I'M GETTING MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME, THIS YEAR! WOOHOOOO! 


Will blog again real soon. Love you guys :* see you!

"Payphone" - Maroon 5 (Alex Goot feat. Eppic) - YouTube
Payphone - Maroon 5 (Avery iphone cover ft. Max Schneider) - YouTube

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